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evolutionary science of mind & the philosophy of the Master Mind Jesus

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RevBates.tv Global - Weekly Message To The Masses for February 13, 2011 

         Genesis 2:18Then the LORD God said, "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him."  - Holy Bible
              "Each person in marriage is seeking in another the qualities which he feels he lacks in himself.  This is the basis of sex attraction.  Women look to men for strength and protection, for logic, and for the pioneering qualities they feel they lack in themselves.  Men look to women for femininity, homemaking, motherliness, and receptive reactions, which in their own souls they seem to miss.  This is why in general it is not wise for a woman to seem to be too clever especially before marriage.  After marriage she can reveal her cleverness more, but men are a little afraid of women who seem to be too intellectual."
- Emmet Fox, Diagrams For Living, The Bible Unveiled, 1968

     As I wrote in my message to the RevBates.tv Subscribers, the Love Boat sailed without me a long time ago.  And so, this "Valentine's Day" message is not from someone who has been successful in marriage or even with intimate relationships for that matter, but perhaps some of you will find value in my ideas about both, for although mine have been less than role-model relationships, I am grateful for them all.  My personal sense of marriage for me is similar to that of Emmet Fox:  "Fox never married and did not attach himself to any social set.  In a conversation about marriage he answered:  "I have thought about it more than once, and I realize that I could have lived a more normal and perhaps a happier life, but I have always felt that the work was so important that I had to forego these things and devote all my energies and time to getting out the message." 

     When I look at the quote from the Book of Genesis,
"I will make a helper fit for him," I feel this "helper" for me has been all the people who I have come into contact with in my life and through this ministry who contributed to my decision to become and remain a dedicated minister, for it is the love of my life.  And so unlike the great Emmet Fox, who I highly respect and admire, I will not give my "opinions" on marriage (see quote above), since I find his highly amusing and almost hilarious.  Yet, I have had my "Song of Solomon" moments in life and what I have learned from these experiences, I will share with you:

     It has been said that
"The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing" ... if we must divorce our self from Intelligence in order to justify our passion for someone, it is probably not going to have a happy ending ... but an end is inevitable.  Emotions are derived from thoughts and although it is right that we honor our emotions, we are not to be ruled by them.

"To thine own self be true" and this we must not lose sight of even when we want someone's love and affection.  We must insist on being loved for who we are, not for what someone else may want us to be.  We are responsible for our self; our body, our mental state, our self-esteem, and our own self-image.  Success in life comes from knowing that who we are is more important than what we do or what we have.

"I think you can have intimate love without sex" ... perhaps this is true, but not a lot of fun.  Sex is an important part of being intimate, it is sharing a part of our self that is not only unique, but intimately so.  Throughout history there has been a culture clash against sexual expression.  Religion has taught us to feel guilty and shameful unless our sexuality met the dictates of their dogma.  And in many parts of the world religions have been able to legislate against sexual freedom and expression and the level of violence against women and others have been the consequences.  Sex is sacred when it is the consensual expression of love and affection.  It is a gift from G-d that should not be exploited by religion or politics.

"If I can't have you, I don't want anyone else" ... if someone says this to you, run, don't walk away ... if you say it to someone else, stop and sit in the silence until your mind is adjusted by Higher Intelligence ... these are words of desperation and self-depreciation and we must heal the thinking that moved them through our mind.  Possessiveness is not a loving emotion but a controlling one.  Love expressed at the level of addiction or obsession, requires healing to eliminate the history of causes behind it.  And statements such as this one reveal someone "arguing" for their good ... we never have to argue or fight for that which is ours.

"You're just like my ex (husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend)" ... this is someone who wants to re-live a negative experience ... let them live it ... but not with you.  What comes out of our lips is coming from our consciousness.  Comparisons are not only unfair, but out of Principle.  Those who persist in forming comparisons in their minds, especially in respect to people, have some growing up to do.  Let them grow ... but let them go.  Love and happiness are here and  now, accept these things and don't compromise. 

"Either you do this or I am leaving" ... open the door for them and let them go ... or face a never ending cycle of manipulation.  Love does not manipulate.  "Love is always patient; love is always kind; love is never envious or arrogant with pride. Nor is it conceited" ... this is from the ancient scriptures and are words to understand, especially in relationships and marriage.  And we must remember that Love never requires us to be a doormat either.

"Love is not pitiful" ... if we feel sorry for, or pity the person we think we love, or see them inferior in any way, we don't love them.  Instead, we are finding validation for something within our own subconscious that needs to be healed.   Heal the thing and let the person find someone who sees them as G-d sees them, capable, worthy, intelligent, and wonderful. 

"I am looking for my better-half" ... two halves do not make a whole ... they make two incomplete people who need to be made whole, but they must choose to be made whole.  If someone truly thinks of themselves as "half" ... we might want to be wary of the other half.  Too often people have expectations of others that are unrealistic.

     Now, I don't want anyone to think that I am opposed to marriage or intimate relationships, because I am not.  I believe that true love expressed both passionately and intelligently is one of the most beautiful things to be  experienced.  The Master Mind Jesus stated that this is the kind of marriage that makes two, one. 
He said they shall become "one flesh" ... and flesh being physical, he meant that their physical lives shall become one of unity, working together with a shared purpose; i.e. having children or sharing a home together and even much more.

      People have told me,
"I am alone but never lonely" ... this is probably not true for most of us, although the times we experience this feeling may be rare.  I believe everyone feels lonely at times, even in a crowd of people.  What we must remember is that loneliness is a feeling that is energized by our thoughts.  Feeling lonely can take the form of feeling separated from life and from the good.  And for most people, lonesome means being without the companionship or love of someone else.  Yet, the most important relationship we will ever have is the relationship to "self" ... for our relationship to self, is a reflection of our relationship with G-d.  This is why I believe the best word in "lonesome" is "me" ... "me" is a pronoun that must be the object of a verb ... this means we must give our self some attention.  And it is in this being conscious of the importance of "me" that we eliminate the thoughts that create the feeling of being lonesome.

Let us enjoy this Valentine's Day and feel the blessing of the Spirit as it moves us to be more conscious of Love; love for self, love for G-d, and love for all that is part of our own world of experience.  Let us also begin to be conscious of the truth that feeling "lonesome" is just the movement of Infinite Love through our mind to be more loving, more patient, more kind, and more generous to "me."


Keep the faith!
Rev. Dr. Henry Lee Bates

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