of the delights of this world man cares most for ... sexual intercourse
... yet he has left it out of his heaven."
- Mark Twain, American Writer
know that consciousness is everything, and so we also know that we
attract all things to us, in consciousness. But, there continues
to be so much about sex that is taboo ... and talking about it is one of
those things. I have received several messages in the last few
weeks regarding sexuality and how it is affecting marriages. When
I inquired to one spouse if he and his wife were discussing sexuality
openly with each other, his answer was a simple "no."
And I am finding not talking about sex is the norm. Oh, I know,
that "Sex in the City" was one of the most popular shows on
cable television ... but many people talked about the show, but not sex.
Reading comments posted on the
ABCnews.com Blog, regarding an article about "Swinging" ... I
read so many comments from people that were filled with words of shame
and guilt. Some were quoting the Bible and writing that those who
participated in "swinging" were adulterers and going to hell.
Now, I have no more interest in being a "swinger" than I do in
being a rocket scientist ... it was just one of those articles that give
most of us a "glimpse" into a lifestyle that we know little
about. After reading the article I thought that it was interesting
that many of those who were participants viewed sex as only physical.
Nothing is "only" physical ... and I would state that
especially sex is not just physical. I would be less than honest
if I did not say that this article "challenged" my Mid-America
value system. Although I consider myself fairly sophisticated and
non-judgmental, I realized as I read the article that it was pushing my
feelings about sexual expression. However, I realize that for most
of us, sex continues to push our buttons when we are confronted with
issues that contradict our own ideas about sexuality. The Good in
the reading of the article is that I realized how important it is for us
to communicate with each other about our thoughts on sexuality.
Open communication regarding sexuality can be a great determinant in
whether we have a satisfying, successful marriage or relationship ... or
It seems that since Adam and Eve covered their
nakedness in the Bible story, the world has made the body and especially
sex, somehow outside the realm of spirituality. Yet, this could
never be true. In Louise Hay's best selling book, "Heal Your
Body," she writes that the "probable cause" of
"impotence" is: "Sexual pressure, tension, guilt.
Social beliefs. Spite against a previous mate. Fear of
mother." ... now, when we look at these we know that all of
them are originating from our mind ... and our mind is spirit ... not
Psychologists and sex therapists talk a lot
about the mind, body, spirit connection ... but All is Spirit ... All is
God. Traditional religion not only separates our body from our
spirit, but even goes so far to see the "flesh" as a
temptation. But the "flesh" is not the temptation, it is
how we think about the body that makes the difference. Spirit is
not in fragments ... Spirit is in All, and through All. Since God
is not in fragments, we must realize that we are not either. Our
body is not separate from our mind and our mind is not separate from our
spirit ... they are One; the differentiation is only the way in which we
respond to each of these. For example, we differentiate
"conscious mind" from "subconscious mind" ... but
both are Mind ... it is the use we make of them that creates the
Sexuality is not about the body ... or the mind
... it is about the spirit. Our thoughts and beliefs about sex and
sexual pleasure are validated in the physical ... but they originate in
our spirit. In order to maintain a "healthy consciousness of
sexuality" it is important that we eliminate judgmental feelings
and negative ideas about sex. And most of all, it is important
that we talk openly with our sexual partners about our sexual feelings
and desires. As we learned above from Louise Hay, negative
thoughts and feelings do become the "cause" of impotence and
lack of sexual interest.
sexuality" is the awareness that all that we do is "in the
spirit" ... that our creative expression sexually is unique to us.
All is of God, and this includes sexual expression. Our
consciousness of a healthy sexuality creates within us a healthy
self-image ... and in turn a greater awareness of how Spirit expresses
Itself in us and through us ... in All things. Healthy sexuality
... is part of our "heaven on Earth" experience!
SO IT IS!
Dr. Henry Lee Bates
Visit Rev. Bates BLOG: Living
the Science of Mind