married couples should learn the art of battle as they should learn the
art of making love. Good battle is objective and honest--never vicious
or cruel. Good battle is healthy and constructive, and brings to a
marriage the principle of equal partnership."
grew up reading the syndicated Ann Landers column in the newspaper, the
St. Louis Post-Dispatch, and I always appreciated her wisdom and advice.
Most of all I appreciated the fact that her advice "evolved"
as she gained more wisdom from her experiences and the experiences of
those who sought advice from her. Although her writings would not
have been defined as spiritual, there was always a spiritual quality to
her work ... her advice was almost always directed to the
"spirit" of the person seeking help.
In the statements above written by Ann Landers
in 1968, she refers to the "principle of equal partnership"
... in metaphysics we would take this a step further and explain it as
the "Principle of Unity." It is the Principle of Unity
that attracts us to another individual ... always. And, as we
realize that this is always so, we gain a greater understanding of not
only our relationship with the individuals in our lives, but also our
relationship to the Infinite.
This ministry receives so many prayer requests
concerning relationship issues and marriage ... and for all of
them, the root of the discord is always a lack of understanding of the
"Principle of Unity" ... and for many there is a resistance to
the realization of this Principle ... for in its realization ... comes
responsibility ... and even perhaps an "inner battle."
From the Science of Mind we can read, "We
came from Life and are in Life, so we are One with Life; and we know
that Instinctive Life within - which has brought us to the point of
self-recognition - still knows in us the reason for all things, the
purpose underlying all things; and we know that there is nothing in us
of fear, doubt or confusion which can hinder the flow of Reality to the
point of our recognition. We are guided daily by Divine
Intelligence into paths of peace, wherein the soul recognizes its Source
and meets It in joyful union, in complete At-One-ment."
And so this Principle of Unity, is Omnipresent
... in and through All. In other words, as within, so without.
And as in all things, this Truth is apparent in relationships and
marriages. Whatever we are "within" ... we will attract
to us on the "outer" realm of our life. It is the Law of
Attraction in alignment with the Principle of Unity. The old
adage, "opposites attract" ... is a myth ... it is not the
Truth. The Truth is "like attracts like" ... and the
reason this is not always so apparent is that our thoughts and beliefs
are deep within our subconscious ... and "when deep calls unto deep
there is a simultaneous agreement" and a demonstration (physical
effect) is made.
And all of us can agree with this 100% when it
appears to be positive, loving and joyful. However, this same
Principle of Unity is working in our lives when it doesn't appear to be
so; when we disagree or find fault with those we are in a relationship
with or married to. Very few people want to agree with the fact
that their seeming "bad relationships" had anything to do with
them. Or that the person who may make them uncomfortable is
actually only playing the role we have given them in our subconscious
mind ... they (the outer) are the actors ... we (the within) are the
directors of our life ... this is Unity. Not just when it all
looks pretty ... this is also true when it can also appear very petty
... or even cruel and vicious. And the more we resist the Truth of
this ... the more we fight it or deny it ... the more it will continue
to manifest in our lives. We can never heal anything; that is,
find the Good in anything, by running away from it or ignoring it.
No matter what we may be experiencing ... it is
for our Good. And until we know this is so, we will receive many
opportunities to realize that it is. There is a question in
scripture that is attributed to the Master Mind Jesus, "would a
father give his child a stone if he asked for a fish?" And
neither will we demonstrate something different than that which we hold
in consciousness (our soul) ... unless our consciousness changes.
And the first step to changing consciousness is the
"realization" of what we have the consciousness of; joy,
confidence, love, happiness ... or something else. Whatever it is,
it is reflected in our relationships and marriages. No one or no
thing, outside of us ... comes to us ... except through our
consciousness ... this is the Truth.
And so we must be ever so
grateful to our "Soul Mates" ... those who we have attracted
into our lives in relationships and marriage ... for our soul has
unified with their soul for a Good Purpose ... and this Good Purpose is
always for us to heal that which limits our capacity for love, joy,
happiness and passion for life. And yes, I know this soul-to-soul
connection will not always be filled with grace and ease ... as many of
us have some healing work to do ... but we can do it as we trust in the
Infinite to guide us through it.
AND SO IT IS!